Jane "Goldie" Winn

Author, Speaker, and Life Coach

"Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that you will abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." (Romans 15:13 NASB) 

"You planned evil against me; God planned it for good to bring about the present result--the survival of many people." (Genesis 50:20 CSB)  

These are the questions that I asked Goldie during her interview on the VictoryEmbraced: Truth, Talk & Testimonies YouTube channel, and what she shared. Please consider, liking, sharing, and subscribing to the channel. Thank you! 

May you share your testimony? It’s very miraculous. I know it will help many people–It has and will continue to do so because of what God has done in your life. 

Yes, thank you so much. It’s an honor to be here tonight. I never know exactly where to start sharing my story, but I trust the Lord will give me His prompting on where to start. Maybe it’s a good idea to set the scene. I grew up in a Jewish family. Our parents raised us as conservative Jews, and I was born in Massachusetts. We lived in Florida for a little while when my father was a doctor. My father was the assistant superintendent of the VA Hospital in St. Petersburg, Florida. In 1958, he received an offer to go to Independence, Iowa, a tiny town of 5,000, where he became the superintendent of a huge state mental hospital. I remember pulling up to the hospital grounds and seeing all these bars on the windows–I was young, maybe in second or third grade. When we parked, my father got out of the car and said, “What have I done? All these bars are on the windows. My first decision is that I’m going to remove all those bars from the windows and make it more humane for these patients.” My father was an amazing visionary, and he believed in treating the mentally ill with dignity, as he used to say, but for the grace of God, there go I. 

My dad taught us from a young age to respect the mentally ill. There were 1,100 patients in the hospital and 500 employees. Growing up, our living quarters were sandwiched between patient wards in the main administration building of the hospital. The place I grew up in was intriguing, with a long winding staircase that linked the superintendent’s apartment to the main administration area. Every time my family went down that staircase, the staff would stand up to show their support and respect. The patients and staff held him in high regard as a patriarchal superintendent. It was interesting because he was very different behind closed doors. Behind closed doors, my father was emotionally and physically abusive, mostly to my older sister than me. My sister Esther is six years older than me, and Cathy, my younger sister, is five years younger. Despite this, it was mainly Esther who experienced the bulk of his anger, and we still don’t completely understand why. One of the theories is that in the Jewish religion, it’s always wonderful to have a son—Esther was the firstborn and wasn’t a son, but was a fighter, so when my father would approach her to beat her, she would fight back. However, I was the one who held the pain in the family and would become very depressed. I would keep the pain inside, and escape into the bathroom to take bubble baths for hours and read books like Nancy Drew and Bobbsey Twins because I didn’t know how to deal with the pain. It was also confusing to me that the world saw my father so differently than he was behind closed doors—It was hard to bridge those two worlds together. Also, we were one of the only Jewish families in the small town that we lived in. It was important to my parents to keep up our Jewish traditions, such as having Shabbat dinner and celebrating all the Jewish holidays, so we would drive 45 minutes every Friday night for Shabbat services to Waterloo, Iowa, where there was a conservative synagogue, which is the middle road—it’s not strict Orthodox and it’s not reform—so there was Hebrew spoken in the services and English as well. I remember not feeling happy in my childhood. I didn’t want to feel so different, and kids would make fun of me because I was Jewish and everyone in the town was Christian, and they had Christmas trees and Santa Claus, and I used to wonder why Jews didn’t believe in Jesus. 

Eventually, I graduated from high school and majored in music at Drake University in Des Moines, Iowa. I graduated from high school during the hippie movement and when I went to college, I was drawn to them because I felt like they accepted me. To them, it didn’t matter that I was Jewish or that I grew up living at a state hospital—what people used to call the “funny farm.” I didn’t want to be different anymore, and the hippies accepted me just as I was, so I got very involved in the whole culture. The thing that I guess I loved was that you can be a free spirit and anything goes, and the next thing you know, it’s sex, drugs, and rock and roll. I embraced the lifestyle and ended up getting involved in a lot of crazy things. 

I was getting more depressed and I didn't know what I wanted to do with the rest of my life, so I made the decision to move to a different school in Kalamazoo, Michigan. I changed my major from music education to music therapy and was still very immersed in the hippie culture. My parents paid for me to live in the dorm, but I also lived in a hippie commune. Living a double life was tricky because whenever I went home to visit my parents, I'd have to pretend that I was nice little Janie and everything was fine and put my regular clothes on, but as soon as I went back to school, I put on my bell-bottoms and tie-dye shirts and back in the commune. I managed to live that double life for a while, but then things caught up with me and unfortunately, I found myself pregnant.

When I got pregnant, it was before Roe versus Wade and I didn't know what to do. I waited a long time before I even got the pregnancy test, so when I found out that I was pregnant, I was shocked and remember yelling at the nurse and calling her every name in the book because I didn't want to believe it. My friends knew that I couldn't have the baby because my parents would freak out. After all, it was all about looking good and there's no way their daughter could be pregnant and not be married. So I was encouraged to have an abortion because they thought I would be better off. In those days, like it is right now, the states would decide whether or not abortion was legal or not and California was one of the states where abortion was legal, so my friends decided they would raise some money to help send me to California to get the abortion. When I went out there, it was very different because back then, abortion was looked upon shamefully. They had a hotel set up where the girls came to stay who were having abortions, but I remember to this day, the hotel proprietor saying, “We’re going to help you now, but don't ever let this happen again!” I stayed in the hotel and roomed with another girl who was going to have an abortion. It turned out we were in San Jose, California and we had to drive to San Francisco to a hospital because unfortunately because I waited too long before I took the pregnancy test I was well into my second-trimester. Without ultrasounds at the pregnancy center like today, I felt lost and had no other option.

When we got to the hospital in San Francisco the doctor explained what they were going to do. I had a saline abortion which sadly is where they burn the fetus within you and you deliver a dead baby. I remember being in a state of numbness and didn't want to believe even at that moment that I was pregnant. I went into the hospital room and I remember the nurse said to me, “When the baby stops kicking, click this button and I'll come into the room.” Years later, I found it interesting that the nurse used the term "baby". When the kicking stopped, I clicked the button and the nurse came in and told me that I would’ve had a perfect baby boy.  

After the abortion, I went into what you call denial, which is one of the most basic defenses and there's a little joke that denial is not just a river in Egypt. Denial protects us from facing trauma until we're ready to do so. I not only was in denial, but I became more numb and started using more drugs, and became even more sexually promiscuous.

When I went back to my college, I needed to perform a music piece as part of my music education. It was a 12-page sonata. The saxophone was my major instrument, and I had to memorize the piece to pass. Well, because I was doing so many drugs and was so depressed, I lost my place and completely forgot where I was, so they ended up flunking me for the entire year. 

I then realized how depressed I was and also that I was feeling a lot of physical pain in my body that I thought may have to do with the abortion, but when I went to the nurse on campus, she told me they couldn’t examine me without my parents signing a release to permit them because I was under 21.

I wasn’t ready to tell my parents because a few years earlier, my sister married a Catholic and in those days, Jews and Gentiles didn't mix, and my parents disowned her and said the prayer of the dead over her. Thankfully, two and a half years later they accepted her back into the family, which was a wonderful reconciliation, but in my mind, I thought if my parents found out about me having sex, getting pregnant, having an abortion, and being a hippie–they would certainly disown me. I thought there was no way I could tell my parents, but this pain in my body was getting worse and I didn't know what to do. My older sister Esther, who lived in Connecticut encouraged me to fly there and she made sure that her husband who was a social worker called the hospital to get me admitted, but the hospital said they couldn’t without my parents' permission. My sister told me that I was going to have to call Mom and Dad and tell them the truth. I was scared, but at the same time, I was prepared for their rejection. I picked up the phone and called my parents and proceeded to tell them that I was a hippie, I got pregnant and then had an abortion. My father's first response (remember he was a psychiatrist), but his first response was that I might as well kill myself, that I was no good to the family anymore, and how could I ever do this to them. He then slammed the phone down and I was like okay he's rejecting me–that's it, he's rejecting me, but then about 5 minutes later the phone rang again and it was my father. He called back and said, “No, Janie–I love you. You’re my daughter, and we’re going to take care of you–we'll get you the help you need. I will call the hospital and grant permission for them to examine you." As soon as my father said those words, I love you–all that pain that I've been holding in my body all those months after the abortion left. It was all in my mind because I was afraid of my father's rejection and so I was carrying all that pain inside. 

My father called the hospital, and they checked me out and said everything was fine, but he was still concerned about me and thought I needed a lot of help, so he sent my Mom out to the East Coast to get me set up with the top physiatrist. In his mind, he didn’t think there was any hope for me and that I would ever get better. After all, how can I do these terrible things and bring so much shame to the family? I remember being ushered into this beautiful office, the psychiatrist’s office, and my mother started telling the psychiatrist all the terrible things that I did. I felt like I just wanted to crawl under the desk. I was so full of shame and guilt, and then at some point, the psychiatrist said to my mother, “Would you mind leaving the room? I want to talk to your daughter alone.” And she said, "Okay." I’ll never forget this as long as I live, because I didn’t expect it. He looked at me and said, “I just want to talk to you. How are you feeling?" His caring shocked me because I was just shamed and beaten up emotionally and thought the doctor was going to do the same thing, but he wanted to know how I was feeling. I told him that I was confused, scared, and overwhelmed and his response was, "Well, your father’s not going to like this, but from one psychiatrist to another, I’m going to recommend that you live as far away as possible from them and that you work with a psychiatrist to get help. I have a good psychiatrist that I can refer you to, so if there’s any family you can live with in Connecticut, do that, but don’t say a word to your mother until I’ve had a chance to talk to your father.” At that moment, I remember feeling relief wash over me, like wow, there’s hope. I was still very depressed, but at least I felt hope. My father sent my Mom out to set me up with the psychiatrist, and I went to intensive therapy three times a week and could live with my favorite aunt and uncle for 2 and 1/2 years. It was a wonderful time because I loved them and their children so much. We were very close and would often take family vacations together. In many ways, I felt closer to this family than my own–it was a safe place. After 2 and ½ years of therapy, I knew I was ready to stop and my therapist recommended that I start working in a place that wasn’t too stressful. So, I found a job at a factory where they made Corelle Ware and worked as a glorified receptionist. One day, while sitting in the building, a guy walked in, and I thought he was cute. I learned his name was Dave, and he was from the Hartford, Connecticut, area. I remember saying to him, “You know, why don’t you come up and see me sometime?” Dave came over to see me that night and we have been together ever since. 

When I graduated I wanted to work somewhere but wasn’t sure where. Then, someone offered us the opportunity to go on the road as professional musicians. Dave didn’t get many jobs because of his long hair–in those days, they didn’t like hippies. Dave managed to find work in pizza parlors, where he could stay out of sight of customers. However, a Honky Tonk piano player befriended him and taught him how to play the big upright bass. I became a singer, and we went on the road for a while, playing at different clubs. 

I began to feel depressed and questioned if I wanted to spend my life singing for intoxicated individuals despite finally earning my degree. I recall a day at a club where we were staying in a camper out in the country. I ran outside, fell face down on the ground, and spoke to God for the first time. Before that moment, I had never talked to God because, in the Jewish religion, He is seen as distant and abstract. I cried to God, saying, “If you’re truly there, make yourself known to me!” Reflecting on it brings up emotions, and I remember Jeremiah 29:13. “And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart.” When I cried out to God, it wasn’t that I saw lightning or heard thunder, but I couldn’t move for the longest time, and I felt a deep peace come over me and His presence. When I got up, I knew I had to quit the band and tell Dave. 

Dave stayed with the band for a little while longer and I found a place where I could help kids who were trying to get off drugs. I volunteered there to help them not go down the same road I did. While there, a woman caught my attention with her infectious joy, and I felt the need to meet her, so I acquired her number to contact her. When I called her; her roommate answered, and told me, “She’s not home, but she is currently at a Catholic church in downtown Mankato. If you wish to see her, maybe you could go there.” I asked Dave even though I thought he would probably think I was crazy, but shockingly, he said yes. 

When we arrived at the Catholic church, I was fascinated by the illuminated Greyhound bus parked in front that displayed "Heaven" as the destination. We walked into the church, and it turned out to be a Catholic charismatic prayer meeting with people from all different denominations praising the Lord and hands lifted high. We used to sing to drunks, and for us to see this group with their hands raised singing songs to Jesus was amazing, we both realized that maybe it was Jesus that we were missing in our lives. 

Everybody accepted us even though we had our bell-bottoms on and looked scraggly, and Dave had long puffy hair then, but they accepted us, loved us, and kept inviting us. One day, there was a second or third meeting, and this priest asked us if he could pray for us to receive Jesus into our lives as our own personal Lord and Savior. My response was, but I'm Jewish. I can't do that. I really can't do that. Well, it turns out that the person I went to the church to meet is a hairdresser, so I asked if I could meet with her for a haircut, and she shared her testimony of being brought up Catholic and experiencing severe depression. She invited Jesus into her life to be her own personal Lord and Savior, and all her depression left. I shared with her that I was Jewish, but she still prayed for me. Interestingly, the Lord directed her to a scripture, which was Isaiah 53. This scripture emphasizes Jesus as the suffering Messiah, who suffered and was wounded for our transgressions. I remember saying, "Oh, but that's the New Testament, and she said no; no, that's the Old Testament." I remember growing up in the synagogue, they would always skip that reading; they would read Isaiah 52 and then go to Isaiah 54. So one day, I asked the rabbi why he always skipped over that reading, and he replied, "Oh, it's just because I'm tired of telling people it's not Jesus." 

On August 4th, 1974, Dave and I got on our knees and received Jesus Yeshua into our lives. Yeshua is the Hebrew word for Jesus, which also means salvation. Suddenly, after the prayer, this overwhelming joy filled me. I became a new creation--2 Corinthians 5:17. So at that moment, joy filled me. I couldn't stop weeping tears of joy, and I knew that this Jesus I'd been told not to believe in all my life was real! I was blind and now I could see! After giving my life to Jesus, somebody from the church approached me and shared a special word the Lord put on their heart, "You know Goldie, I feel that your gift is the gift of joy".  From that moment, the gift of joy entered my life. Throughout my life, I experienced constant depression to the extent that my mother used to say, "She's going to carry around a pocket full of tears wherever she goes." So the fact that I felt amazing joy was incredible. After this, Dave and I stopped living together and we got married on November 23rd, 1974. If you saw the movie Jesus Revolution, it's like Dave and my story. 

Goldie, could you share what the Lord is doing in your life now? You have a counseling and life coach background and you're an author and have a movie called Rainbow In The Night. 

In 1993, I returned to school and obtained my master’s degree in social work. Our relocation to Pennsylvania led us to a remarkable Messianic Jewish congregation in Philadelphia, as directed by the Lord. After working in the field for a while, a young lady came to me as a client. She was a Christian, and she came to me because she was thinking about having an abortion at one time--she shared with me that she was brought up in a Christian home and was the trophy Christian daughter. When she went away to college, she was tired of being put up on a pedestal, so she ended up backsliding, having sex, and getting pregnant. Realizing she couldn’t share this with her Christian parents or church, she thought of having an abortion. 

While at the abortion clinic, she experienced a miscarriage, but internally, she believed she had terminated the pregnancy. Seeking biblical guidance, she turned to me for counsel. I successfully arranged a meeting with the whole family, creating an opening for sincere repentance, and her parents humbly sought her forgiveness. I brought her to a pregnancy center so she could receive the necessary healing, as she had intended to have an abortion. During my time there, the executive director mentioned that I had been recommended to her for the position of Client Services Director. Despite being quiet, my husband strongly believed that not accepting the position would lead to a lifetime of regret. 

I met with the Board of Directors for an interview and the President of the Board asked me why I wanted to work at the pregnancy center. Well, an emotional flood of memories from my abortion surfaced, as I had been in deep denial for 27 years. I told them that 27 years ago I had an abortion, and if I could prevent just one abortion, I would love the opportunity to do that. After the interview, I thought they would never want me to work for them because I couldn’t stop sobbing. However, at 10:30 pm, the executive director called and said they all talked about it and decided they wanted to offer me the position and that I would be perfect for the job but before I could start working, I had to go through the post-abortion Bible study to make sure that there wasn’t anything I still needed healing from. I needed to be healed from my abortion trauma, so I could come alongside those who are abortion-minded and hurting. 

Soon after beginning the Bible study, I got in touch with what happened, and I had to acknowledge that I had ended the life of my baby. I fell to the ground, and I couldn’t stop crying for over an hour about what I had done. At the end of the Bible study, they had us have a memorial service where you could make peace and name your baby so you could say goodbye and have closure. 

I knew that my baby was a boy, and in the Jewish religion, if you have a son, you name the baby boy after the first letter of your father’s name, so I named him Samuel, which means God sees him. I went home that evening with the certificate with Samuel’s name on it, and I showed it to my husband, Dave, and with tears in his eyes said, “I want to adopt your baby in heaven so that one day we will be parents together." We had to make a heartbreaking decision not to have children, which is part of my story in the book and movie so his comment was so touching and amazing. 

Writing my book Rainbow In The Night took 20 years to complete because I had so much pain in my life that I needed to work through--there were still parts of my past that I was holding onto. I realized that I could only finish writing the book once I was willing to completely surrender my painful past to the Lord. The book was published in December 2019. If the Lord can do all this for me, He is surely capable of healing you as well! 

The person who edited my abortion story is a dear friend of mine, and she and her husband felt it should be made into a movie, so they introduced me to producers who produce faith-based films. I shared the story with them, and they said yes. The Rainbow In The Night movie is an hour and 17 minutes, and it’s me telling my life story without a script. The director encouraged me to share my story with raw emotion. As I shared my story, they filled it in with amazing backdrops and music and put everything into it to make my story, and it’s been nominated for some film festivals. It’s a great blessing and joy to be taking the movie on the road, and with special movie screenings wherever the Lord opens the doors, I will go because I feel that He wants this movie to be out there to bring hope to so many people and women out there who are hurting from abortions. 

Whenever I do a movie screening, I make sure that there’s somebody there from a pregnancy center because every time, there’s a woman who comes forward who maybe never shared their abortion with another person and feels so much shame and guilt about it because it’s a very dark issue, even though part of the country sadly embraces abortion like it’s no big thing; it’s not that quick, easy fix. Within women it goes against the grain of who God created us to be, so there’s nothing natural about that, so women go underground, and there are so many women sitting in churches shrouded in guilt and shame. This is one of the main reasons I wanted to share my traumatic second-trimester abortion story--to open hearts and unlock the hurt inside so many women. I also share my salvation testimony and want Jewish people to know that Jesus Yeshua is the Jewish Messiah. Many themes in the movie relate to people going through difficult challenges in life. Dave and I had to work through a lot in our marriage and we want to be honest about it because we feel that if we can overcome these things and celebrate our 50th anniversary on November 23, 2024, others can do the same. So the movie is about hope, encouragement, redemption, and forgiveness, and the main theme is surrender--Whoever the Son sets free is free indeed, John 8:36. The devil comes to steal, kill, and destroy, but Jesus came, so we will have life and have it to the full (John 10:10). 

The Lord called Jane “Goldie” Winn out of darkness and futility, bringing her into overflowing joy and deep purpose. Goldie’s RAINBOW IN THE NIGHT movie and book depict her journey of healing and how the Lord used every tear for His Kingdom plans. Rainbow in the Night is bringing hope to many and giving people courage to continue their own journeys. RENT THE MOVIE AND BUY THE BOOK!

Watch the MOVIE TRAILER 

for Rainbow IN THE NIGHT &

Read Movie Reviews and Gallery Pictures too! 

BOOK A MOVIE SCREENING  for 

RAINBOW IN THE NIGHT 

for Your Church or Special Event!

Watch the video review of Pastor Todd Joyner of Church in the Gardens in Palm Beach Gardens, FL, from the movie screening of Rainbow in the Night at his church.

Purchase Goldie's Book on Amazon

Goldie's Ministry Site

Darlene Van Dyke

Christian Music Recording Artist and Founder of Redemption Cove

Darlene's testimony was shared on the VictoryEmbraced: Truth, Talk & Testimonies YouTube channel. Please consider liking, sharing, and subscribing. Thank you!  

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:6-7 NIV)

The Lord is your protector; The Lord is your shade on your right hand. The sun will not beat down on you by day, Nor the moon by night. The Lord will protect you from all evil; He will keep your soul. The Lord will guard your going out and your coming in From this time and forever. (Psalm 121:5-8 NASB)     

“we are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not despairing;  persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying about in the body the dying of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our body. (2 Corinthians 4:8-10 NASB)

These are the questions that I asked Darlene during her interview on the VictoryEmbraced: Truth, Talk & Testimonies YouTube channel, and what she shared.  

Darlene, can you explain how you use your property in Southampton, Pennsylvania, for a ministry called Redemption Cove? 

Well, we have always dedicated the property of Cherry Lane to the Lord. I had the privilege of stewarding this place for about 28 years, and the initial ministry that started there was an annual caroling party—we would go into the streets at Christmas time and sing about the birth of Christ. I had done that as a small child with my parents in a small town in Ohio called Steubenville, and it just rested in my heart all of my childhood and into my adult life, and then when I had my first child, I wanted her to have those memories, but we live in Pennsylvania in a suburb of Philadelphia. I didn’t know of anybody who was going caroling, so we thought we would just go ourselves, and that small little desire in my heart grew into 25 years of an annual caroling event there at the property and the streets, and we shared about the birth of Christ. It’s interesting because of the neighbors’ reactions—we received wonderful reactions and some not-so-good or sad reactions...or unfortunate reactions. I say unfortunate or sad because I believe people who don’t know Jesus are missing out on a lot. So, we began using the property at Cherry Lane in Southampton, Pennsylvania, and then all kinds of ministries emerged from that place because we have always dedicated it to the Lord. There was a time when my stepson, whom I consider my son, and I had this vision of taking this little plot of land and turning it into an outdoor worship venue, so in three days, the Lord facilitated all the resources. Ryan and I built that space using mostly discarded items, and I prayed and said, Lord, what do you want to call this place? The name Redemption Cove came to mind because we have experienced redemption, being discarded, hurt, and being abused many times. The Lord is a Savior—He saves us. So many things in Redemption Cove were “trash finds,” if you will, and they all had a significant spiritual attachment, like when Ryan and I were building the wall out of old barn wood pieces from a friend’s historic farmhouse that her husband was discarding—I said, oh, I think I can use those.” Ryan was building the walls, and we came to a spot where I said to him that it would be so cool to have a door right here, and he agreed. I went to pick my daughter up from school that day, and wouldn’t you know, there was something in the trash. It’s just interesting because everything that happened was in the Lord’s timing. There’s granite flooring there that was donated, and there’s an old metal globe from the ‘70s that was placed in there, as you know, for God so loved the world—there’s a clock hanging, and everything there was significantly placed. As you know, time is short—Jesus is coming—we need to be redeemed, so this was the thought behind Redemption Cove. 

Can you share what happened in May 2023 on the Pennsylvania Turnpike I-95?

I moved to Pennsylvania when I was 20 years old, and for about 40 years I have driven back and forth from Ohio, where my parents live, to Philadelphia and never had an issue, even in all kinds of weather—rain, sleet, snowstorms. Last May, around 11 a.m., it was a beautiful sunny morning. I set my cruise control at 65; the speed limit was 70. I just wanted to enjoy my trip and listen to music, and suddenly, I heard a loud explosion sound in the rear of the SUV. I thought that maybe a tire blew out, and then instantly, I couldn’t see anything in my rearview mirror. I didn’t know what happened or why my vehicle was being catapulted–It felt like a huge hand was pushing me violently with great strength to the cement median. Then, I remember feeling my vehicle begin to lift and begin turning over, and as I saw the median, I said to Jesus, I wonder if I’m going to die. And immediately after I said that everything went blank. I don’t remember the impact—I don’t remember anything. The next event that I have in my memory is that I heard voices murmuring, and I heard things before I could see them because I was coming out of an unconscious state. I then opened my eyes, and I couldn’t quite figure out where I was. I kept looking and looking, and I saw glass and things that looked familiar, but yet they didn’t, and I came to realize I was hanging upside down from my seat belt. I didn’t recognize things because they were upside down. I then thought–Wow, the seatbelt is holding me, and then I prayed and said, Lord, please let the seatbelt unclick. I think I need to get out of here. Please don’t let me be stuck in here. I checked my arms to see if they were okay because I thought I could crawl out. I opened my eyes and saw that the window on the driver’s side was shattered, but all the metal was bent down and smashed, so I realized there was no way I could get out that way. But the passenger’s side was completely missing, and there was a big opening. I thought I could climb over there, so I didn’t know what had happened. I didn’t realize that a vehicle had struck me. I wondered if the car was on fire or if it was going to explode. My first feeling was that I needed to get out of here. Then I looked around, and I thought, well, I’m just going to crawl out, and I heard a voice say, Are you okay? And this murmuring turned into a man’s voice, and I saw him tuck his head down and look into the vehicle, and I said, well, I’m conscience, and I unclicked the seat belt, and I just crawled onto the glass and the debris, and I began to army crawl, and then I realized I had no strength in my body, and I and I couldn’t crawl. I was just weak and limp, and he said, Can I help you? And I stretched my hand as far as I could to the window, and I said, Would you please pull me out? He took his hand, and he did one jerk and got me at least out of the vehicle. I rolled over on my back on the turnpike, and I could see now that the vehicle was upside down and totaled, and a woman appeared next to him—again, I’m still not sure what happened—and she asked, Can I help you? I’m a nurse, and I said to her, Would you find my cell phone, please? and she found my phone underneath the tire of another vehicle that was behind my vehicle, and I was thinking, maybe he stopped to help me, and here it was the gentleman who had hit me. The lady found my cell phone under the tire of his car. The ambulance came, the policeman, and all details of just normal rescue behavior. Interestingly enough, the EMT assistant was female, and she said, Honey, I’m really sorry, but I’m going to have to cut off your clothes. I think she said that because I was wearing my favorite comfy outfit. She put the neck brace on me, and she cut off my clothes, apologizing, and then in the ambulance, I said, look, I need to make a couple of phone calls. I was headed to an appointment for two different meetings, and she said, Well, I think your ankle is broken. She said I can give you something for that, and I said, if you give me something, I won’t be able to talk to you, and she said, So, she said, I think you probably are going to need something, especially when you get to the trauma unit, so she gave me something for pain, and I’m so grateful that she did because once I reached the trauma unit, they did all kinds of testing. 

You know, I don’t know how many doctors came and pressed on my body in certain places, and I couldn’t open my eyes. I don’t know why that was. I just had no strength, I had no energy, and it was almost as if I wasn’t even in my body I couldn’t move, but I could hear and they would tell me what they were going to do to me to check me and I a woman’s voice to my left but she was different she was not talking like a doctor and I forced my eyes to peep open a little bit and it was an African-American woman and she had a blue uniform on and I thought she was a nurse and so I said to her where am I? And she said, Holy Spirit Hospital and I said, oh well that’s a good place to be because He’s here and she replied–YES, HE IS and immediately I got a good response now in the world normally when I talk to people or strangers sometimes our conversation will I’ll say something about the Lord or God or I’ll make a comment as if everybody knows him and those who are usually pick up on that and we have a great conversation so when I said He is here and she said, YES, HE IS–and immediately in my spirit there was a quickening and an aliveness came inside like I was jumping inside but my body couldn’t move and she started to pray and quote scripture–all things work together for good to those who love God and I started quoting scripture and she started saying it with me and she and I together were quoting the scriptures that I would start and then she would continue with it with me and then I’m telling you there was such power in that and we were in the presence of Jesus because He is the Word and if two of you agree on earth concerning anything that they ask, it will be done for them by My Father in heaven–that’s His promise so they took me to do a CT scan they brought me back there was all kinds of scurrying activity and somehow I remember that this woman and I were alone again and she was on my right side now and she said, I’m going to tell you something she said, God’s not done with you yet now she has no idea who I am at least I don’t think she does if you would feel human you know an angel I don’t know he said I’m going to tell you something she said, God is not done with you yet she said you are going to make it out of here she says many people don’t make it out of this unit but you’re going to make it out and started quoting Jeremiah 29:11, and I begin to say it with her, and she just spoke the Word over me, and she prayed over me again, and then I don’t really remember too much of what happened after that, and then I was in a recovered room later with a splint on my leg from my toe up to my knee because I had a mangled ankle. I was banged up from head to toe, I had to bump on my head, a torn retina, surgery on my eye, three broken bones and a torn muscle, and of course, ligaments that were sprained, cuts, and there were a lot of blood loss, I was tired and weak and woke up in recovery with a cast on my leg and people coming in to check on me and I never saw that nurse in that room again I never saw her from that last time that she prayed over me she’s not there the rest of the time. I think it’s so awesome how the Lord at that moment sent somebody to me and prayed over me in a trauma unit in a hospital way out in Camp Hill, Pennsylvania–in a place that I never imagined I would ever be, but the Lord was with me through all of that and then there are more stories beyond that once I left the hospital that is quite interesting.

May you share some of the stories you shared with me after you left the hospital?

The hospital surprised me by discharging me after I had a horrible accident, despite being nowhere near my home and my vehicle being totaled. Maybe they didn’t have room, but they arranged for me to stay at the hotel near the hospital and sent an Uber driver to bring me.

I waited in the hospital lobby in a wheelchair with a wonderful assistant. He was a former military personnel, and we talked about my son-in-law, Jared, who’s a master sergeant in the Marine Corps. We talked about the military until the Uber driver arrived since my daughter, Rikki Lyn, and her husband, Jared, were stationed in Okinawa, Japan.

When the Uber driver pulled up, you could hear him screaming and yelling in his vehicle. I’ve used Uber before and usually, they’re calm and I thought to myself–what’s up with this guy? The hospital assistant that was helping me was wondering the same thing. When he wheeled me to the car, out of the corner of my eye, I saw the license plate with a couple of letters and the numbers six, six, six–It was so funny! The hospital assistant looked inside the car as the driver continued to yell and complain to someone on the phone then, out of concern he asked… “Are you able to take her and then are you able to help her because she can’t walk?” “You’re going to have to carry her bags into the hotel and go over and above what an Uber driver would normally do.” The Uber driver looked back at me and said he would do it. I could tell that the gentleman from the hospital was very leery of putting me in the vehicle.

I got into the Uber, still looking like a mess with a pair of crutches, blood on my face, and glass in my hair. Thank goodness, I had a pair of work clothes in a bag in my SUV I could wear because, at the accident scene, my original outfit had to be cut. As I sat in the backseat with my crutches across my lap in the condition that I was in, I thought… “This guy was clearly frustrated about something and I wanted to calm him down a little because he’s driving me and I was just in a horrific accident, so I said to him… “I understand I’m not your normal Uber passenger. I was in a terrible accident today and I need to get to the hotel so I could rest. I appreciate that you’re taking me and helping me–I almost could have died today, and he responded… “I wish I could die today”. And right then and there, I thought this could not be by chance–This was a divine appointment, so I continued to say to him… “I’m sorry that you’re having a bad day, but I know someone who has a purpose and a plan for your life and He loves you”. He looked in his rearview mirror to look at me and I said… “His name is Jesus.” And he responded… “Don’t give me that religious stuff. I’ve already been through that whole thing.” And I said… “Well, that’s probably the problem. If you’ve been through “religious stuff” then you don’t know Jesus. Jesus loves you and He wants your life to be abundant and fulfilling–He loves us in whatever state we are in and he calmed down and listened to what I was sharing and here I am with glass in my hair, blood on my face, clothes that were ripped up, and crutches and telling him Jesus loves him. 

When we got to the hotel, his entire attitude had changed. He pulled up to the front, got out of his vehicle, and carried my bags in for me as I moved inch by inch like a snail toward the hotel lobby because I couldn’t walk well, I was hungry, lost blood, and should have remained in the hospital–I still don’t understand why they released me, but maybe he was the reason. I desperately needed to get to this hotel so I could rest. 

As I was in the lobby, he stood beside me, almost like a soldier or guard. He stayed with me and asked them if they could take care of me from here on out and the hotel staff promised they would. I said… “You know what, I’m going to be praying for you. I appreciate what you’ve done for me today.” As I looked at him, I noticed that even his countenance had changed. I asked what his name was and he said… “My name is Jacob.” I thanked the Lord for sending me Jacob as he walked back to his vehicle, and I can only hope and pray that Jacob knows Jesus today.

After Jacob left, I made my way up to the hotel’s check-in counter, and I told the woman, I’m the patient coming over from the hospital, and I need my room, and she said... “Okay, you’re on the third floor,” I asked her where the elevator was, and she said they didn’t have one. I told her I couldn’t walk, and I was trying to get by on the crutches, and she said… “Oh, my goodness, that’s right, we’re going to have to find a room for you on the first floor.” In the meantime, she got someone to carry my bags. This young man came over, and he was in a hurry. It was a convention weekend at the hotel. He grabbed my bags, asked what room I would be in, and started to take off. I had to tell him I couldn’t follow him at that pace. He said... “That’s all right. I’ll get your stuff in your room.” They found one empty room on the first floor, and he took off, and I started hobbling towards him. Suddenly, I felt like I was going to pass out, so I made my way to the wall in the lobby, and sat down on the floor, leaning against the wall with my crutches across my lap, glass in my hair, blood on my face, and my cut-off pants. I’m leaning against the wall, and I’m weak, tired, and hungry, and I cannot help myself. 

Now, that is an unusual place for Darlene Van Dyke to be because I’ve never been helpless like this before, and here I am in a strange town in the middle of the state. I leaned against the wall, waiting for the Lord’s next move. And I said… “Lord, I can’t do any more than what I’m doing.” Just then, a man wearing a lanyard walked up to me, looked at me for a split second, and asked if I was okay. I told him I wasn’t and was in a car accident. He continued by saying… “Well, I hope you’ll be okay,” and he went into his room and shut the door. Right then and there, the Lord reminded me of the story of the Good Samaritan. How many times do we come across people that need help and we pass them by? Sadly, our world has desensitized care and compassion. Scripture says in the last days that evil will get worse and worse and that men’s hearts will grow cold. I had an up close and personal experience about the coldness of our hearts–a coldness towards those who need care. I believe that all those times we turn away from helping somebody; it’s creating a barrier between us and what God has designed us to do. It’s a daily thing. So many people say that they wish they could have a ministry. We do—all of us are ministers in the Kingdom. It’s the ministry of compassion and care. For anyone that has a need that and we walk away, the Bible says it’s a sin—to know to do good and to do it not to Him is sin. We all have a ministry—a ministry of compassion and care. 

When the man who had my bags returned, he noticed me sitting on the floor, so he went to find a wheelchair. Next, I instructed him how to assist me into the wheelchair, and he then pushed me into my room. He permitted me to keep the wheelchair so that I could move around. Before he left, I told him how much I appreciated his help, and I asked him his name, and he told me it was Isaac. Jacob and Isaac were there, assisting me that day.

Finally, I’m in the room and can breathe a sigh of relief. I rolled to the bed using my wheelchair. Thankfully, my arms weren’t broken. I had cuts on my arms and fingers, but I could get to the side of the bed so I could lie down. I got in an upright position and laid on the mattress, and here the bed was broken—probably the reason it was the only open double-bed room on the first floor. The mattress slid off the base, and I slid down to the middle aisle of the floor between the two beds. I thought it was too funny, and there had to be a hidden camera somewhere. I somehow stopped myself from sliding off the mattress, and I made my way back to the wheelchair, wheeled myself to the other bed, and said... “Lord, let this one be okay.” I laid across it, and it was okay, so I was finally in a position where I could rest. There I was, with the Lord being my keeper.

In the King James version, Psalm 121 says that the Lord is my keeper. I used to be a soccer coach at my home church for a few years, and I'm familiar with the word keeper in an athletic sense. Well, what does a keeper do for a soccer team? He’s the goalie, and the keeper’s job is to stop the opponent from scoring. The Lord is our keeper—He protects us from the enemy, Satan, scoring in our lives and preventing us from getting ahead of where we should be. If we allow Jesus to be our keeper to stop the enemy assaults, attacks, and fiery darts from scoring—He is our keeper, and on this particular day through the horrific events, He was my keeper. He sent me everything I needed when I needed it so perfectly. Now, I’m still injured, in pain, and suffering, but the story’s not over yet because I need to get home. 

I want to touch on something for those who may watch this broadcast and perhaps have not been so fortunate and maybe lost a loved one in an accident or maybe have lost anybody for any reason and are still suffering or you’re still in pain. What do we do with that? Where is this keeper? For example, Pastor Rick Warren had a son commit suicide; Steven Curtis Chapman’s older son ran over their little daughter in the driveway, and she did not survive; a very dear pastor friend of mine, Evangelist Ricky Riggs, was a guest evangelist at a church and backed out of a parking lot in the same way; and Toby Mac lost his eldest son to addiction. 

There are many tragedies, and unfortunately, those who don’t have a full understanding of how much God loves us—the puzzle doesn’t fit—the pieces don’t fit. How can God be a keeper and yet we suffer? Scripture says the earth is a cursed place from the fall of man in the garden, and we’re living in that—it’s not heaven, and we’re only passing through. It will not be perfect all of the time. There’s going to be pain and suffering. Jesus even had pain and suffering. God promises we will never be alone—we will never have to go through things alone. We’re not abandoned by our Creator, who loves us, and despite the enemies’ assaults, the Lord still initiates the plan that He has for our lives if we align our will with His so it can happen. 

A personal example is my mother, who was a Christian since she was a teenager. She loved Jesus. When she was in her seventies, she was diagnosed with breast cancer, and I happened to be with her the day that the diagnosis was given, which again was a miracle because I lived 360 miles away from her, and I happened to be visiting on the day she had a doctor appointment for a follow-up to a mammogram. I was able to be there for her, hug her, and tell her it was going to be okay. The Lord always works out what we need at the very moment we need it—you can’t plan this stuff, but God does. The Lord sees the end from the beginning and knows the complete picture. Jesus knows where we are and what we need. 

Where are you in your healing process from the accident? 

The physical healing is still happening for me, and the Lord is also healing other things. Five specialists have worked on me, and I have had therapists. One therapist that was working on my ankle was a Christian. We got to talk about the Lord and shared scriptures while other therapists were around listening. Many people don’t tune into anything Christian until they overhear a conversation about the Lord, and at that point, they can respond towards the Lord or continue to stay how they are, but He’s always faithful.

He sets at liberty them that are bruised from Luke 4:18. We are the walking wounded. He gives us a way to live in freedom, even though we have a wound. We can still walk in our purpose and abundance, knowing that the Lord loves us and He's with us.

Redemption Cove in Southampton, Pennsylvania

Photos of Darlene's Car from the Accident on the  Pennsylvania Turnpike/Interstate 95

    Joel Jakubowski 

Men's Ministry Director at The Potter's House Addiction Recovery & Discipleship Ministry 

"The grass withers, the flower fades, But the word of our God stands forever.”  (Isaiah 40:8)

Hello, my name is Joel. I am a sinner saved by grace, God’s grace, that is. I am a man who has experienced deliverance from the grasp of darkness. And today, I walk upright in the light of Christ.

My parents divorced when I was pretty young. My sister and I continued to live with my mother. After my father’s departure, my mother succumbed to mental illness. Unfortunately, this left my sister and me to “raise ourselves.” The torment of loneliness, abandonment, and uncertainty permeated my innocent heart and soul. At the age of eight, I had become disillusioned with this life and the love it was offering. It was only a matter of time before I reached for the hand of Satan in the form of a marijuana cigarette, and this marked the beginning of my near-fatal sin-induced demise. After the succession of poor decisions, misbelief, and compromises, I became a full-time crack addict that lasted twenty-eight years. Eventually, it was painstaking to acknowledge my skeletal reflection in the mirror, a mirror that so bitterly mocked my bondage. And then, finally came God’s miraculous light. My sister had been delivered in Christ for several years, bringing the Teen Challenge program into my seemingly hopeless world of degradation. And just in time, because thoughts of suicide were now becoming the center of my attention.

On June 16, 2003, I entered the Teen Challenge induction center in the heart of Newark, New Jersey’s urban jungle. I did not come to search out Christ’s heart but only to attempt to stay clean for a year. But much to my exceeding joy, I can say now that Jesus was there waiting to search my heart. I did not know it then, but I realize now that God had given me the so precious and necessary gift of brokenness! He had prepared in me a receptive heart to receive this life’s only truth: His Son finally. Little did I know that the hole in my heart was Christ-shaped all along.

I gave my life to the Lord in a public confession only ten days after arriving at the center. I graduated from the induction center and began a more exhaustive pursuit of God’s heart. Here at that training center in Rehrersburg, Pennsylvania, I fell in love with Jesus. I then began to study the scriptures and learn of God’s promises. I found that my faith in His Word and in His love had the power to “repay me for the years the locusts have eaten.” (Joel 2:25) I found that He had a plan for my life, “to give me a hope and a future”. (Jeremiah 29:11) Praise God! He said I was a new creation in Christ! (2 Corinthians 5:17) At last, I had finally found TRUTH!

Then it began--God restored the trust I had betrayed among my loved ones. He restored my wonderful mother’s mind and our once strained relationship. He renewed my heart and transformed my entire perspective of life and my fellow man. He gave me His love, the only love that cannot disappoint or fade away. He gave me a calling and taught me the meaning of life--To love and serve God. As a result of my devotion, He has continued to bless my socks off to this very day!

Again my name is Joel, a sinner turned saint saved by loving grace. May God bless you!

Joel is a Men's Ministry Director at The Potter's House which is a safe place for men & women to recover from addiction, to experience Christ-centered discipleship, and embrace their God-given destiny for their lives. For more information please visit their ministry site at https://thepottershouselancaster.com/

Purchase Joel's book by clicking on the book cover below.

Joel's testimony from the VictoryEmbraced book was featured on CBN's The 700 Club 

Breaking Free From Addiction 

Brian and Shawn Chrisagis

Founders of the Chrisagis Brothers Ministries & Productions

“But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed.” Isaiah 53:5

Brian and Shawn Chrisagis were born with life-threatening allergies to the sun, grass, most foods, and clothing. The doctors said they wouldn't live past the age of two, but now—they are walking, talking miracles. The twins needed to be in an incubator for the first two years of their lives. When their parents brought them home from the hospital, the windows of their house were covered with bricks to protect them from the sun. The Chrisagis Brothers' early years were marked by a series of "tests and errors" from doctors in the United States, Italy, France, and Germany. It was discovered that the only foods they could eat were soybeans, milk, sardines, rice cakes, and peanut butter. Their mother (Marguerite Chrisagis) and grandmother (Carmie 'Nana' DeFilippo) made all their clothing out of the few fabrics their skin didn't react to. If they had to go outside, they would have to cover up with hats and blankets–if the sun touched their skin, they could die and have to be rushed to the hospital.

 
When Brian and Shawn were seven years old, their mother, Marguerite, suffered from a severe heart condition and became confined to a wheelchair and needed oxygen. One day, Marguerite went to a healing service at a Full Gospel Businessmen's meeting. After the sermon, she went forward to ask the preacher, Father Michael Scanlan, to pray for her sons' healing, but he insisted on praying for her. Father Scanlan told her that as a parent, she had the authority in her home to stand in the gap and pray for her sons' healing and deliverance. That is when Marguerite learned how to break the bloodline of sickness, death, and disease over her home and loved ones.

After Father Scanlan prayed for Marguerite, she got out of her wheelchair, took off her oxygen, ran around, and wasn't winded. When she got home, she had the whole family pray over her sick children. Marguerite' felt an evil spirit push her onto the floor,' and the twins were instantly healed from all sickness! Marguerite asked the boys to name anything they would like to eat in the act of faith. "Hot fudge sundae!" was the unanimous response, and the family went out to a nearby restaurant for the boys' first ice cream.

The entire week, the family went to the doctors, who "redid the tests and x-rays about five times" before they finally confirmed the twins were entirely well and their mother had "a new heart." Their doctor became a born-again believer that day, marking the beginning of the twins' powerful ministry. Today, Brian and Shawn are ordained ministers who have devoted their lives to sharing their powerful testimony and God's love through their music and creativity.

 
The Chrisagis Brothers have become staples for their wholesome family entertainment and fun through the years. To check out Brian and Shawn's biography and career highlights, please visit their ministry site, The Chrisagis Brothers Ministries & Productions

Chrisagis Brothers Music CD's

Chrisagis Brothers Support Club

ArtBy Chrisagis

If you are interested in purchasing artwork from Brian & Shawn please message them on their ArtBy Chrisagis Facebook page. Artwork is $50 plus shipping @ $8---each picture is 8 and a half by 11--larger sizes are 11 by 17 for $70 plus shipping. Proceeds help support this wonderful ministry!   

Little House on the Prairie by Shawn

Russ Taff and David Phelps by Brian & Carmen and Michael W. Smith by Shawn

Kathy Troccoli by Brian

A beautiful book about the Chrisagis Brothers Mother, Marguerite "Margie" Chrisagis, and their family called A Legacy of Love--by Debbie Fuller (Author), The Chrisagis Brothers (Contributor) -- Click on the book cover to order on Amazon 

Special tribute song for Brian & Shawn's Mother Marguerite "Margie" Chrisagis called If Heaven Had a Phone

Jesus Everywhere I Go Music Video--Classic MTV video that made the Chrisagis Brothers known

In Loving Memory

Shawn Chrisagis, of the beloved singing duo The Chrisagis Brothers, passed suddenly in June 2023. Shawn was a minister of the gospel, singer, and performer who loved the Lord and people with all his heart. He was anointed, loving, creatively brilliant, and authentic. Shawn will be greatly missed by all those who loved and cared for him and by all the lives he touched while sharing the love of Jesus. Well done, good and faithful servant! —Matthew 25:23